Setting the bar....

When I was a young mother, I was living the Ex-Pat life in the Middle East with my kids. Now keep in mind this was shortly after the Kuwaiti Invasion and right before the Somali conflict ( watch Black Hawk Down, the horrible true story was all over the news for the world to see. RIP to the US Army Rangers and Pilots). I was, if you've been keeping up with my posts, in Qatar during the Royal Coup in 95.

It was during this time I met a senior correspondent for a major wire service. We became friends when he came to cover Princess Diana and Madonna in Qatar for the Qatari Open Tennis Tournament. Boris Becker was the draw that brought HRH, and the Pop Princess to the desert. Many people didn't know this, HRH Diana, Princess of Wales and HRH Charles, Prince of Wales had been gifted a palace in Qatar by Sheik Kalifa on a royal visit many years before. Her visit was shortly after the BBC interview had been taped. The palace was not far from Aladdin's Theme Park, on the other side of Doha from where I lived.

When my news hound friend and I met, he was considerably older than I, attractive, well dressed, and had (still has) a sense of humor that would rival any major comedian in existence today. His infectious naughtiness was something I had grown up around. My high school football buddies talked the same talk, walked with the same swagger, and drank beer like it was water just the same. We seemed to always end up at the same functions with our cameras and stuck in the same corners shooting. We had the same taste in shot angles and height. Made shooting a little complicated at times but it became a running joke between us and a few other in the business. I was still very young and considered a cub in comparison, and not officially anywhere in their field because I was never officially in the country for that purpose. I was still officially a 'stay at home Mom' (even though the place we were living in was no where near anything that resembled a home).

Through the years and miles of his amazing news career, and my gypsy existence with my kids, we lost touch, gained connections, lost them again, and with the lovely invention of Internet and news people in common, we have been in close contact for a few years now. He is still one my greatest mentors in photography and his advice still rings true with the digital as well as the original film I burned through back then.

Through all my years of eeking out a living and just barely making the cut, I never asked him for a favor, hand out, hand up, or names of anyone I could contact to help push my career forward. I was a single parent and my passion was not a money making venture so I did other work to be sure my kids had a warm place to sleep and food to eat. I never asked because I valued the friendship so much, I never wanted him to feel I was his friend for his connections. I never asked because I knew the bitter reality when you open yourself up to someone for friendship and you find out later it was only about who you knew, who you were related to, or how much money you had. I loved hearing about where his assignments were taking him, where he'd been, who he'd met that made an impression on him. I value his humor and forthright opinions and never wanted to lose that. So I never asked.

I recently did an interview with someone so important to the civil rights movement in the 60's, just by chance really, I was so excited I had to share my coup with my much revered mentor. I knew he would understand the feeling of accomplishment. Once I had finally blurted out the chance meeting and resulting 3 hour interview with pictures, he asked to see what I had done. With trepidation, I attached all the images and 5000 word article to the email even though I knew it was some of my greatest work ever. Sitting in front of the glowing screen with my hands poised over the keys, waiting for his response seemed like a lifetime. A few minutes later, my screen popped to life. His words were keyed in capitol letters, screaming off the screen in my face.

"(his real words were much more colorful than this but I'm going to go with OMGOSH!!!!), I had no idea you had this in you, why are you still doing that mindless fluffy quasi-journalistic (poop)?!!! My god kid, if I had know you could do this, I'd had you set up years ago!!!!!" Among his many other epithets were congratulations, well done, brilliant, and then the somber tone was evident in the last sentence. "Why did you never send me this kind of thing before. I could have put you in touch with the right people. I could have gotten you a proper agency, connections, and you'd have been working everywhere?.!"

My response was simple. Other than not wanting to impose on our friendship, I didn't know if what I wrote or my images were any good. I had sent him images before, but usually the ones I had trouble with the exposure, or composition, so he really never did see any of my finished work. What he saw were images of me perfecting my craft and he taught me to be patient and hone my skills with thoughtful small adjustments. He thought I was just this sweet, clever, beautiful barbie in designer clothes with a tomboy attitude. I'd never said out right, "I want this photojournalism life beyond anything else." I never said once my kids were grown that I would be willing to abandon everything cozy, comfortable, and safe, for life of airplanes, deadlines, and living out of a suitcase. It's what I always wanted, but had responsibilities that I couldn't turn away from. With the words and images I sent, I laid bare my soul to this dear friend who never knew I wanted anything other than to photograph pretty parties and socialites playing dress-up. After much discussion and review of other work he'd never seen, he has promised to put me in touch with 'the right people'. There are no guarantees, he claims, but he clearly states that my work is exceptional and needs to be seen.

So my lesson is, ASK. Define my goals. Speak them clearly. You never know what can come of it.

Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
PS Can I just take a moment to say, to the US Army Rangers of the 82nd I met while overseas, you know who you are... My eternal gratefulness for all the laughs, tears, support and friendship over the years.
Quis est homo qui non meliorem facere mundum ... venit invenire me ... Ego sum ​​hic.