When I was maybe 9 or 10, we moved from our quiet 'little house on the prairie'. No word of a lie, it looked exactly like the house from 'Little House on The Prairie'. The only difference was that the siding was flat red with white trim, not sun faded clapboard and my mother was an exceptional gardner. The area surrounding our house was full of flowers and blooming trees as far as the eye could see. The inside wasn't much different though and we had to pull water from the well out back.. but that's a whole other story.
I had spent many years on the farm with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles and the rest of the time at our little house in the garden. Things were changing rapidly. From the safe, quietly insulated little farming community to to big city ( Edmonton had a whopping population of about 200,000 +/- ). We first moved to my Grandparents city home in one of the upper class neighborhoods. (Mr. and Mrs Don Getty were our near neighbors).
My first day in the new city school was interesting. Not only had I left Kansas without my little dog Toto, it was like a whole new planet. My little farm girl clothes were just not making the grade with the Big City kids. I was teased mercilessly about my hair, my boots, my jeans, and shirts. They may have been a practical choice on the farm, but not really stylin' for 1970 something Edmonton... the fashion mecca of the world apparently. I'd have to say this was a huge learning curve for me about human nature. I had no idea kids could be so mean. Bullying is a soft word compared to what I experienced at the hands of a few 9 year old Ghengis Khans. I'll skip the details because what they did will be in the book and I have to say, it will be a story not soon forgotten.
The one thing that amused me the most was that people could not get my name right. I was admonished and scolded by the teachers for not answering when they called my name. I actually was sent to the principal's office because I did not respond when they did roll call in class. Let me backtrack a bit here. There was this girl at the school for maybe 2 or 3 years, and a few months before I moved to the area, she moved away. According to those in the know, she and I were exactly the same everything. Hair, eyes, height, etc. Her name was Michelle. I guess she must have been a bit of a bad ass, as she had a reputation for being in the principal's office a fair bit. I was called Michelle by everyone and had to live down this girl's attitude and reputation daily. After being there from January to June, I am sure I had a childhood version of post traumatic stress disorder. The teachers were ridiculous in their insistence at calling me Michelle and punishing me for not responding. Each time I tried to tell them that was not my name, I was sent to the principal's office. I tried to be diplomatic and not to get in trouble, so my voice became softer, my words were clear and precise. Between the teachers and the bullies (and their flock of sheep) it's a wonder I didn't lose it completely. My Mom was dealing with so much stuff at the time, I didn't want to add to her burden so I kept quiet about it all at home. Only at the end of the year did my homeroom teacher have a meeting with my Mom and found out what my problem was. Instead of sitting down and having a conversation with me about what she did, she came at me all angry and in my face, telling me I should have told her my parents divorced that January, I should have made her listen each time I was mistakenly called Michelle and I should have spoke up louder than I did. Not sure how much louder I could have been without being punished for yelling in class at the teacher. I was never very sure how it ended up being my fault that they couldn't get my name right, but according to my teacher, it was.
We moved to a new neighborhood, a 10 minute bike ride away from my grandparent's city house, but in a different school district. On the first day of school, I was called Michelle by a few kids. This was creepy... I ended up in the principal's office because I didn't know what his little black book was for. He kept a little black book in his office and every time you ended up in his office, he wrote your name in the book. If he saw your name in there twice, you got the strap. My name was not in the book, but Michelle's name sure was. He ended up getting called away before he could strap me and the secretary hustled me out of there as quickly as she could. She was there the day my Mom registered me and she knew I was not Michelle. By this point, I'm thinking if I ever saw this Michelle, I may have to have a chat with her about her behavior.
Years go by, I went to private school and was home schooled. My music and photography were my majors of choice and managed to make it work for me. I had adjusted to city life but got back out to my friends and relative's in the country as often as possible. Things were going well. I was working in the Whyte Ave area of Edmonton at a club, trying to pay for school, and had many people call me Michelle. Once, someone stopped me and tried to make a joke about me (Michelle) picking up a tray in the club. I explained that they were mistaken and I was not Michelle. Having a second look through beer goggle eyes, the guy apologized and said I was definitely not Michelle but he had just seen her up in the back of the club. I actually dragged this drunken sod to the back to point her out to me, but through his pickled peepers, he couldn't have seen her if she was sitting on his lap.
The thread of this story is really about the bullying, not about the doppleganger Michelle. There is a cause I have just heard about through one of my favorite clients, called Dare To Care. It's about bullying in the school system. Something I experienced first hand. I will say this though. All the teasing, petty ridicule and plain cruelty I experienced as a kid, have made me a compassionate and caring adult. I work for my passion and never let anyone bully another. I raised my children to stand up for those who can not defend themselves, and I am not afraid to speak up for another who needs support and strength.
That's all for now.
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
I had spent many years on the farm with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles and the rest of the time at our little house in the garden. Things were changing rapidly. From the safe, quietly insulated little farming community to to big city ( Edmonton had a whopping population of about 200,000 +/- ). We first moved to my Grandparents city home in one of the upper class neighborhoods. (Mr. and Mrs Don Getty were our near neighbors).
My first day in the new city school was interesting. Not only had I left Kansas without my little dog Toto, it was like a whole new planet. My little farm girl clothes were just not making the grade with the Big City kids. I was teased mercilessly about my hair, my boots, my jeans, and shirts. They may have been a practical choice on the farm, but not really stylin' for 1970 something Edmonton... the fashion mecca of the world apparently. I'd have to say this was a huge learning curve for me about human nature. I had no idea kids could be so mean. Bullying is a soft word compared to what I experienced at the hands of a few 9 year old Ghengis Khans. I'll skip the details because what they did will be in the book and I have to say, it will be a story not soon forgotten.
The one thing that amused me the most was that people could not get my name right. I was admonished and scolded by the teachers for not answering when they called my name. I actually was sent to the principal's office because I did not respond when they did roll call in class. Let me backtrack a bit here. There was this girl at the school for maybe 2 or 3 years, and a few months before I moved to the area, she moved away. According to those in the know, she and I were exactly the same everything. Hair, eyes, height, etc. Her name was Michelle. I guess she must have been a bit of a bad ass, as she had a reputation for being in the principal's office a fair bit. I was called Michelle by everyone and had to live down this girl's attitude and reputation daily. After being there from January to June, I am sure I had a childhood version of post traumatic stress disorder. The teachers were ridiculous in their insistence at calling me Michelle and punishing me for not responding. Each time I tried to tell them that was not my name, I was sent to the principal's office. I tried to be diplomatic and not to get in trouble, so my voice became softer, my words were clear and precise. Between the teachers and the bullies (and their flock of sheep) it's a wonder I didn't lose it completely. My Mom was dealing with so much stuff at the time, I didn't want to add to her burden so I kept quiet about it all at home. Only at the end of the year did my homeroom teacher have a meeting with my Mom and found out what my problem was. Instead of sitting down and having a conversation with me about what she did, she came at me all angry and in my face, telling me I should have told her my parents divorced that January, I should have made her listen each time I was mistakenly called Michelle and I should have spoke up louder than I did. Not sure how much louder I could have been without being punished for yelling in class at the teacher. I was never very sure how it ended up being my fault that they couldn't get my name right, but according to my teacher, it was.
We moved to a new neighborhood, a 10 minute bike ride away from my grandparent's city house, but in a different school district. On the first day of school, I was called Michelle by a few kids. This was creepy... I ended up in the principal's office because I didn't know what his little black book was for. He kept a little black book in his office and every time you ended up in his office, he wrote your name in the book. If he saw your name in there twice, you got the strap. My name was not in the book, but Michelle's name sure was. He ended up getting called away before he could strap me and the secretary hustled me out of there as quickly as she could. She was there the day my Mom registered me and she knew I was not Michelle. By this point, I'm thinking if I ever saw this Michelle, I may have to have a chat with her about her behavior.
Years go by, I went to private school and was home schooled. My music and photography were my majors of choice and managed to make it work for me. I had adjusted to city life but got back out to my friends and relative's in the country as often as possible. Things were going well. I was working in the Whyte Ave area of Edmonton at a club, trying to pay for school, and had many people call me Michelle. Once, someone stopped me and tried to make a joke about me (Michelle) picking up a tray in the club. I explained that they were mistaken and I was not Michelle. Having a second look through beer goggle eyes, the guy apologized and said I was definitely not Michelle but he had just seen her up in the back of the club. I actually dragged this drunken sod to the back to point her out to me, but through his pickled peepers, he couldn't have seen her if she was sitting on his lap.
The thread of this story is really about the bullying, not about the doppleganger Michelle. There is a cause I have just heard about through one of my favorite clients, called Dare To Care. It's about bullying in the school system. Something I experienced first hand. I will say this though. All the teasing, petty ridicule and plain cruelty I experienced as a kid, have made me a compassionate and caring adult. I work for my passion and never let anyone bully another. I raised my children to stand up for those who can not defend themselves, and I am not afraid to speak up for another who needs support and strength.
That's all for now.
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
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