Things that go BUMP in the night...

After being unceremoniously evacuated out of my home this last few months, being told to stay out for 6 weeks give or take, and then being allowed back in August 1st only to be informed our occupancy was conditional, excuse me if I am a little lax about unpacking the boxes just yet.

It is the crunch time. The last week of our 'conditional' occupancy in my building on the river. (for a few days this summer it was IN the river... but I digress).

The owners were told certain repairs had to take place to be cleared for permanent residence by the City Inspectors and rightly so. Everyone who has been in this building knows we all live here for the location, and the ratty carpet in the hallways, the 1970's wallpaper, and light fixtures in the common areas were never something we thought about. We stayed because we all know each other, we are neighbours, we are friends and have been for as long as I have been here. We help each other with moving, driving to and fro, picking up something left out by mistake, and storing each other's stuff when needed. We spend hours in the sunlight on the front porch, watching the traffic, the squirrels, and laughing about the random subjects that cross our minds. We talk about the news, the new buildings, and the old buildings not ready for their occupants to go home yet.
After the flood, we came by everyday to check on our places, we gathered on the porch and watched the sad and defeated inhabitants of our quiet little block drag suitcases back and forth in the mud, then the dirt, and now the dust. We weren't so chatty then, as we all felt each other's pain at being left to figure out the maze of public assistance, the lack of information from qualified sources about what we could or could not do or apply for. We all pitched in with the 40-a-day volunteers to drag the muddied remnants of our lives into the street to be hauled away by the City Waste Department. Let me just say, that crew had the toughest job, worked the longest hours, and deserves a freakin' medal for what they did to clean up the mess.

So by this time next weekend, I'll know what the status is. Do I stay or do I go.

I left the boxes packed so I could leave again if I had to. I have no plan, nor do I want one. My new contracts will take me away most of the time anyway so putting everything back in storage for a few years is not out of the question. I like having roots, but I would rather have wings.

With no storage area left in the building, I have boxes packed and stacked in the corners and around the perimeter of my suite. Some times, I have to find something to finish a job for a client, and I'll have to sort through a box or two to get the right tool. Occasionally, I am in such a focused state, I forget I've left contents strewn over the ottoman and the boxes wide open in the hall. In the night, if I wake up and decide to get a glass of water, I frequently find myself scraping my legs on the boxes, tripping over the left behind contents, or generally spouting oaths of discomfort... loudly... at inappropriate times... after I have nicked my toes on a rolling vinyl backdrop. Highly unpleasant but tolerable just to be in my own space.

As of today, nothing that the City Inspectors have asked for has been completed and we are in the last week before the Inspector comes back to certify our building. There is a boiler here in the city, waiting to be installed, according to the ones that are here all the time, the carpet people have come and done estimates. It would be smart business to keep the money in the bank until they absolutely have to spend it, but really, putting every one at peace might actually be in their best interests at this stage.

If all goes well next weekend, I can write about something else. If not, everything is for sale, and I will be taking all serious offers seriously, because I'm tired of bumping into boxes every night. ;)

Don't forget to check your compass!

Cole

Dear Universe ... I am unbreakable...

In my short 46 years I have learned so much about myself and human nature in general. I've learned that I know a lot more than I used to but I am still learning every day, and I do not know everything yet.

In my experience, and there have been a few, in fact let me detail some of them for you just now...

I have been beat up, teased, and bullied by rough housing family members, bitten scratched, and growled at by farm animals, thrown off of horses into steel gates, trampled and squeezed by hungry cows, nearly frozen to death while walking to school, left in a hot vehicle in the summer by an errant parent, almost drown in the pond on the back 40, picked on, bullied, and teased for 8 looong years in public school. (thanking the universe for private education system), left on a deserted country road by a boy who said 'put out or get out' ( I chose to 'get out' and walk the 20 km back to the farm house). I've been stood up, gossiped about by jealous mean girls, left in a third world country to fend for myself and my two small children by a philandering spouse, lived through a Royal Coup d' Tat only 10 blocks from the action, left for dead by a third case of dysentery, cheated on, lied to, defied, disrespected, bullied by adults, more gossip, exclusion, jealousy, cheated death again, survived death threats by angry incarcerated young men, witnessed humans being very bad to each other, put a thriving business on hold to care for an ailing mother, buried a father, watched my children be forced to grow up too early because they had no choice, guilt of the single parent, poverty, hunger, stalkers, clients that don't pay even though they loved my pictures, boyfriends that love but don't commit, friends that talk the talk but can't walk the walk, and 2013 started with a bang, potential boyfriend decides he is a bad man so ends it before it even had a chance to start, get evacuated a few days later from the flood plain, 6 weeks of muddy, dirty cleaning, 6 weeks of clients cancelling all the work due to flooding, 6 weeks out of work with the bills still coming in, request an exorcism for the utility company computer for sending me disconnection notices and exorbitant bills for a currently uninhabitable address I am not allowed to go home to, try and salvage personal items from waterlogged and silt muddied building, give up after 5 looong days and throw it all in the muddy smelly heap on the front, what used to be a lawn, watch the front end loaders and bobcats scoop away personal possessions and memories and dump them in a big trucks to haul away the mess, laugh almost hysterically at the phone when the 'Tax man' calls while standing in my former front yard looking at the mess that was once my quiet, sleepy, neighbourhood, tell the 'Tax Man' to check my postal code and get back to me tomorrow, offer to put the stylishly green and dirty rubber boots back on so we can go to the dump together to find the stinking wet pile of boxes that used to be my intricately organized tax filing system, then the 'Tax Man' declined my very thoughtful offer and we called a truce as he realized last time the audit man found that they OWED ME money and my books were in order, because it's not like I had anything better to do, then we are allowed a 'conditional occupancy' back at the beachfront property and power is finally on after 6 weeks, and the cleaning begins with wiping down everything and getting the gritty silty dust from the riverbed and glacial deposits off of everything I own that was left behind and still dry, fridge smells from the food that thawed after the first 3 days with no power, bleaching fridge, baking soda, still smells, throw out any dried goods that were not sealed in plastic, and tastes and smells of dirt and feels gritty, hungry, tired, and sleeping on a floor mat because I was smart enough to remove almost all soft goods to high ground during the clean-up, all soft goods left in humid apartment smell like dirty river water and need dry-cleaning/excessive washing, thankful for the good sense of removing big ticket soft goods as cleaning the stinky flood smell would have been too expensive, but unimpressed with sleeping arrangements, getting bed back this weekend, spent last night remembering a favourite uncle, who was of good solid character, full of kindness and patience for a young black-sheep artistic child, and a life long soldier for our great country of Canada,  who passed away after a brief illness and old age.

In all these things there were also these moments, whose weight is belied by their simplicity and far outweighed the above, the kindness of strangers in the most desperate of situations, humour and levity in desperate times, the loyalty of true friendship, truth, compassion, empathy, honour, and love. Love unfettered by the boundaries of romance and possession, but true unconditional love. I have experienced ecstasy of the saints, ( that has NOTHING to do with sex for all my more base minded friends ) I have borne witness to countless miracles and unexplained phenomenon with moments of heart stopping tension... and I am still here.

I am, unsinkable, unstoppable, unbreakable... I am superhuman. and I am still here.