So I'm ending my year with a huge bang, confetti, and ribbons, and exploding bottles everywhere. Chaos and dust flying. Sitting here at my desk just wondering where this year went, how much happened, how much never materialized, and closing the curtain on it with a bow. No applause, no curtain calls, just the clock striking 12 and the eruption of Auld Lang Syne from the chorus as the stage fades to black.
I love the idea that on January first, you can make resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, take a class, make new friends, or become a better person. One thing I noticed is how everyone makes bets on how long this will last for you. The rate with a New Year's resolution is something like a 68% failure. Why not just be a good person and don't try to do things to hurt others, that's actually the easiest one and has a much greater chance of success.
I had to learn a lesson this year that I didn't expect. I have always believed in helping others achieve success. I did so this time at my own peril. So with my gear all packed and ready to go on the 29th, I will leave my studio aspirations behind and forge into the New Year with a much lighter load. This is good, no stress, no drama, just fresh air and light.
This New Years, I am just hanging with the girls watching movies, with popcorn and fuzzy slippers. I don't really need the big party crowd at the moment. I will spend it chatting and laughing, and on New Year's day, I'll wake up and start my year the same as every other day. Grateful.
I am grateful to be alive and well, living in Calgary, spending time with close friends, new and old, that I love and trust. Grateful to have what I need to get by and more. Grateful to be able to help those less fortunate. Grateful to be able to tell my children how much I love them and how amazing they are everyday. I am grateful for the important lessons I learned all this past year and the ones I'll learn in the coming years. Most of all, I am just grateful that I am free.
So for all those dear to my heart and friends of my soul, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Back in the day...
I recently did a photo shoot for a very dear friend that I hadn't seen in years. After almost 15 years we connected on facebook. Gotta love that facebook thing.
Said friend was coming to Calgary to play at a venue in the south, bringing his band, brother, and his girlfriend was coming down as well. This friend was someone I had always cared about and respected from the day we met.
I met up with his band and friends that night and when I saw him for the first time after so long, it was like falling down the rabbit hole and the blur of the last 20+ years fell away and we were 19 and 21 again. I had a great time meeting his brother and the band. His new girlfriend is beautiful, very friendly, and has a great sense of humor. I liked her immediately. I know he had been doing things he didn't want to do for the last while, but I was really glad to see him up on stage. He's a born performer and I was sad to hear he hadn't been singing for quite some time.
I captured some great moments and brought them back to my studio to process. Looking at the images, I felt myself fall into the screen and end up in the old haunts and stages of back then once more. We had some laughs back in the day.
Driving around town in a beat up old car, singing harmonies to the radio. It's funny how one little moment can trigger a waterfall of memories that were always there but not really at the surface everyday. I love these little gems that seem to pop up when you're not expecting it. It's a happy, pleasant memory that I'll keep tucked away and drag it out again if things ever get tough. That's what they're for, the good times. For when you've stretched yourself as far a you can be stretched, at the point where you think you'll just snap if one more inch passes, and with a happy little thought, you become rubber man.
Eventually, I finished the edit and burned the disc. I am mailing it out tomorrow and I know he'll get a laugh or two from it. I'm sure we'll get together again and get caught up and up to date on whatever we missed in each other's stories.
I don't regret a single moment in my life, it's all been an amazing learning curve. Each and every smile, grimace, goofy move, bad decision, scary moment, and all the tears and laughter, make us who we are at this moment in time. I'm happy to be alive, breathing, and laughing everyday, and I hope you are too!
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Said friend was coming to Calgary to play at a venue in the south, bringing his band, brother, and his girlfriend was coming down as well. This friend was someone I had always cared about and respected from the day we met.
I met up with his band and friends that night and when I saw him for the first time after so long, it was like falling down the rabbit hole and the blur of the last 20+ years fell away and we were 19 and 21 again. I had a great time meeting his brother and the band. His new girlfriend is beautiful, very friendly, and has a great sense of humor. I liked her immediately. I know he had been doing things he didn't want to do for the last while, but I was really glad to see him up on stage. He's a born performer and I was sad to hear he hadn't been singing for quite some time.
I captured some great moments and brought them back to my studio to process. Looking at the images, I felt myself fall into the screen and end up in the old haunts and stages of back then once more. We had some laughs back in the day.
Driving around town in a beat up old car, singing harmonies to the radio. It's funny how one little moment can trigger a waterfall of memories that were always there but not really at the surface everyday. I love these little gems that seem to pop up when you're not expecting it. It's a happy, pleasant memory that I'll keep tucked away and drag it out again if things ever get tough. That's what they're for, the good times. For when you've stretched yourself as far a you can be stretched, at the point where you think you'll just snap if one more inch passes, and with a happy little thought, you become rubber man.
Eventually, I finished the edit and burned the disc. I am mailing it out tomorrow and I know he'll get a laugh or two from it. I'm sure we'll get together again and get caught up and up to date on whatever we missed in each other's stories.
I don't regret a single moment in my life, it's all been an amazing learning curve. Each and every smile, grimace, goofy move, bad decision, scary moment, and all the tears and laughter, make us who we are at this moment in time. I'm happy to be alive, breathing, and laughing everyday, and I hope you are too!
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Somewhere out there...
So here is a story from back in the day...
We're living somewhere in an un-named Arab State and some very traumatic things were happening at the time over there. ( I'll save that story for another time ) It was time for the children and I to head home to Canada and visit the family and make plans for a new life.
We are in the airport getting checked in to our plane. We were moved from one plane to another, bags on, bags off, back in the airport, back on the plane. There was some kind of issue with a staff member of the airport and apparently he had made a few veiled threats so they were being cautious. Keep in mind this was directly after the Kuwaiti invasion from Iraq.
Finally, we are boarded, the plane is an hour or so late for take off. We land in another Arab state and the connecting flights have all been kept waiting at the gate for everyone on the plane. My children and I are met by 4 heavily armed soldiers at our gate and escorted to our connecting flight in an army jeep. I kept wondering if they were meant to protect us or to protect others from us, big scary photographer and her 2 little assistants. All the while there is a customs agent checking the passports and luggage tags, asking questions and trying to get us on our way. We board our next fight, and the heavily armed soldiers escort us onto the plane FULL of waiting passengers. Now waiting in an airport for a connecting flight is bad enough, waiting for 1 to 2 hours on the plane, in the hot sun, on the tarmac, is pretty serious. These people were not impressed and it showed in their faces as we were brought on board, myself, my two little children, and our 4 heavily armed escorts. I can't even begin to guess what was going through their heads at that point. I imagined they were wondering what the scary woman and her two little kids had done to deserve a military escort directly to the plane. Could you imaging being a passenger, watching the army escort us on to the plane, that's been kept waiting in the hot sun for hours?
We landed in London at Heathrow in record speed and waited the few hours to get our next connection to Pearson in Toronto. Of course back then, because we moved every few months or so, we traveled with 3 oversized hockey bags as luggage. Everything we owned had to fit in those bags and three little daypacks that we used as carry-on. The airline lost one of the bags. Hard to lose a gigantic purple bag, but they did. Eventually, it was returned, missing a few pieces of lego building blocks and t shirts, but returned just the same.
As I write this, I am trying to remember how the kids took it at the time and I recall them thinking it was just another day. We were never afraid over there, even during our shared adventure with the 4 armed soldiers. We were always treated with great respect by everyone we met. Even during the toughest times, people were so generous and helpful when we needed it. (But of course that's a whole 'nother story)
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
We're living somewhere in an un-named Arab State and some very traumatic things were happening at the time over there. ( I'll save that story for another time ) It was time for the children and I to head home to Canada and visit the family and make plans for a new life.
We are in the airport getting checked in to our plane. We were moved from one plane to another, bags on, bags off, back in the airport, back on the plane. There was some kind of issue with a staff member of the airport and apparently he had made a few veiled threats so they were being cautious. Keep in mind this was directly after the Kuwaiti invasion from Iraq.
Finally, we are boarded, the plane is an hour or so late for take off. We land in another Arab state and the connecting flights have all been kept waiting at the gate for everyone on the plane. My children and I are met by 4 heavily armed soldiers at our gate and escorted to our connecting flight in an army jeep. I kept wondering if they were meant to protect us or to protect others from us, big scary photographer and her 2 little assistants. All the while there is a customs agent checking the passports and luggage tags, asking questions and trying to get us on our way. We board our next fight, and the heavily armed soldiers escort us onto the plane FULL of waiting passengers. Now waiting in an airport for a connecting flight is bad enough, waiting for 1 to 2 hours on the plane, in the hot sun, on the tarmac, is pretty serious. These people were not impressed and it showed in their faces as we were brought on board, myself, my two little children, and our 4 heavily armed escorts. I can't even begin to guess what was going through their heads at that point. I imagined they were wondering what the scary woman and her two little kids had done to deserve a military escort directly to the plane. Could you imaging being a passenger, watching the army escort us on to the plane, that's been kept waiting in the hot sun for hours?
We landed in London at Heathrow in record speed and waited the few hours to get our next connection to Pearson in Toronto. Of course back then, because we moved every few months or so, we traveled with 3 oversized hockey bags as luggage. Everything we owned had to fit in those bags and three little daypacks that we used as carry-on. The airline lost one of the bags. Hard to lose a gigantic purple bag, but they did. Eventually, it was returned, missing a few pieces of lego building blocks and t shirts, but returned just the same.
As I write this, I am trying to remember how the kids took it at the time and I recall them thinking it was just another day. We were never afraid over there, even during our shared adventure with the 4 armed soldiers. We were always treated with great respect by everyone we met. Even during the toughest times, people were so generous and helpful when we needed it. (But of course that's a whole 'nother story)
Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Believing!
For those of you that have known me for quite some time, a lot of this you know already, and for those of you who don't... well an education is on the way!
Quite a few years ago... when I was a teenager, I read a book about His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama. I was interested enough to read another one, then another and ... well, you get the picture. Back then, I think I was 14 or so, I decided he would be number one on my list of favorite subjects to photograph.
Here I go, become an adult and of course life happens. So this last few years, the kids are grown and living their own lives and I am determined to run my own company. I get back to photographing full time instead of only when I can squeeze it between kid's hockey, kid's skiing and making money (well, working 22 hours a day). I start out graduating from business school fairly quickly, get my business up and running. There was a lot of gorilla marketing, money spent on proper equipment, proper partner's to outsource my printing and framing, and business cards of course.
I get everything ready, set, um ( pause to hear the crickets chirping) ... just a trickle of business. I am set up okay to do what I need to do, so I start pushing my limits as to how do I go about getting the pictures for my top 10 list of photographs. I put out the word to the right people I was interested in working with and most of them were happy to sit for portraits and were pleasantly surprise to be on my top ten list.
I'm in Las Vegas, photographing something and someone from my top ten list and get the call that I will be the one photographing His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama when he comes to Calgary in 2009. The choice was between me and Bryan Adams... (to Bryan - a good natured na-na-nana-na).
Now let me digress somewhat. While being a single mother, working myself silly just to get by, I was in a no win situation, I was pretty much a vegetarian as we couldn't always afford to buy meat. I have never been a drinking kind of girl, and let's face it, I was too busy with the kids and work to really have much of a social life so I was living like a monk anyways. So almost 8 years ago, I decided I'd do the traditional path to enlightenment so I could be 'PURE' to meet His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama. After 7 years years, my dream had come to pass. I did photograph him on official Buddhist business here in Calgary, and then the next day for another function. It was definitely a highlight of my adult life and something I worked for. I always believed I would do it and I did.
Since then, I have still been getting the last stragglers of my top ten list captured in print. It is a long process and can take considerable time and effort to break through the boundaries of the top 10's staff of protectors. Let me just add, my way has been paved because I was security cleared when I was subcontracted to the RCMP. ( that's a whole 'nother story and quite frankly, it's classified ;) ) So to the average joe looking to break the ranks, it will take a much longer time and there are lots of hoops to jump through.
Now here I am just over a year later. I worked from my blackberry and my truck before. (don't try this at home kids, I am a trained professional) I have so much happening, I don't know where to begin. I opened my own studio in the loft, I just published a book, picking it up tomorrow. No, I didn't write it. It was written by a very talented and intelligent musician that has been a big gift in my life. Then I was helping Miss Dani-Lynn ( she didn't write the book either!)find a good management team to lift her to the stars. (please check her out at www.Dani-Lynn.com ) I think we found the right people to get her where she wants to go. She has a few videos on YouTube and I believe she's on her way.
One thing I told Miss Dani-Lynn, was to surround herself with people who believe. I believe.
I promised myself I would surround myself with people who believed in me too. When I was a struggling single parent, there always seemed to be an inordinate amount of people who didn't believe. It was an uphill battle everyday, but everyday, I gained an inch. I was exhausted each and everyday, but I fought like a gladiator to gain every tiny inch. Now that I am just reaching the crest of the hill, I can look back and say I earned my place here. I am still exhausted from the battle but victorious and I look around at my 'brothers in arms' and I know I am surrounded by people who believe we have succeeded in our goals.
So my long winded story ends like this, if I can climb out of the muck and evolve into what I am today, and I still believe in the kindness of strangers. I still forgive the naysayers for not bringing encouragement and hope when times were tough. I still encourage others to reach for the stars, and I will always lend a hand to a help a cause I believe in, regardless of what I do or don't get out of it, so my friends, can anyone else.
" I firmly believe that any man's finest hours - his greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear - is that moment when he has worked his heart out in good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious." Vince Lombardi - June 11, 1913 - September 3, 1970
This is my favorite quote of all time.
Hey! ... don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Quite a few years ago... when I was a teenager, I read a book about His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama. I was interested enough to read another one, then another and ... well, you get the picture. Back then, I think I was 14 or so, I decided he would be number one on my list of favorite subjects to photograph.
Here I go, become an adult and of course life happens. So this last few years, the kids are grown and living their own lives and I am determined to run my own company. I get back to photographing full time instead of only when I can squeeze it between kid's hockey, kid's skiing and making money (well, working 22 hours a day). I start out graduating from business school fairly quickly, get my business up and running. There was a lot of gorilla marketing, money spent on proper equipment, proper partner's to outsource my printing and framing, and business cards of course.
I get everything ready, set, um ( pause to hear the crickets chirping) ... just a trickle of business. I am set up okay to do what I need to do, so I start pushing my limits as to how do I go about getting the pictures for my top 10 list of photographs. I put out the word to the right people I was interested in working with and most of them were happy to sit for portraits and were pleasantly surprise to be on my top ten list.
I'm in Las Vegas, photographing something and someone from my top ten list and get the call that I will be the one photographing His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama when he comes to Calgary in 2009. The choice was between me and Bryan Adams... (to Bryan - a good natured na-na-nana-na).
Now let me digress somewhat. While being a single mother, working myself silly just to get by, I was in a no win situation, I was pretty much a vegetarian as we couldn't always afford to buy meat. I have never been a drinking kind of girl, and let's face it, I was too busy with the kids and work to really have much of a social life so I was living like a monk anyways. So almost 8 years ago, I decided I'd do the traditional path to enlightenment so I could be 'PURE' to meet His Holiness, The XIVth Dalai Lama. After 7 years years, my dream had come to pass. I did photograph him on official Buddhist business here in Calgary, and then the next day for another function. It was definitely a highlight of my adult life and something I worked for. I always believed I would do it and I did.
Since then, I have still been getting the last stragglers of my top ten list captured in print. It is a long process and can take considerable time and effort to break through the boundaries of the top 10's staff of protectors. Let me just add, my way has been paved because I was security cleared when I was subcontracted to the RCMP. ( that's a whole 'nother story and quite frankly, it's classified ;) ) So to the average joe looking to break the ranks, it will take a much longer time and there are lots of hoops to jump through.
Now here I am just over a year later. I worked from my blackberry and my truck before. (don't try this at home kids, I am a trained professional) I have so much happening, I don't know where to begin. I opened my own studio in the loft, I just published a book, picking it up tomorrow. No, I didn't write it. It was written by a very talented and intelligent musician that has been a big gift in my life. Then I was helping Miss Dani-Lynn ( she didn't write the book either!)find a good management team to lift her to the stars. (please check her out at www.Dani-Lynn.com ) I think we found the right people to get her where she wants to go. She has a few videos on YouTube and I believe she's on her way.
One thing I told Miss Dani-Lynn, was to surround herself with people who believe. I believe.
I promised myself I would surround myself with people who believed in me too. When I was a struggling single parent, there always seemed to be an inordinate amount of people who didn't believe. It was an uphill battle everyday, but everyday, I gained an inch. I was exhausted each and everyday, but I fought like a gladiator to gain every tiny inch. Now that I am just reaching the crest of the hill, I can look back and say I earned my place here. I am still exhausted from the battle but victorious and I look around at my 'brothers in arms' and I know I am surrounded by people who believe we have succeeded in our goals.
So my long winded story ends like this, if I can climb out of the muck and evolve into what I am today, and I still believe in the kindness of strangers. I still forgive the naysayers for not bringing encouragement and hope when times were tough. I still encourage others to reach for the stars, and I will always lend a hand to a help a cause I believe in, regardless of what I do or don't get out of it, so my friends, can anyone else.
" I firmly believe that any man's finest hours - his greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear - is that moment when he has worked his heart out in good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious." Vince Lombardi - June 11, 1913 - September 3, 1970
This is my favorite quote of all time.
Hey! ... don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Just another day...
I spent my day running errands today. It's now 12:36 am tomorrow and I am just winding down after some editing. After a while, my eyes lose their interest in focusing on the screen.
Last Friday (26th) I spent my entire day in a hockey rink photographing hockey. For those of you that know me, my son was not playing. It was an event to raise money for homelessness in Calgary. I love watching the spray of the ice as the players hit the brakes, the feeling of the cold on my cheeks, the slap of a frozen puck hitting the surface, and the players whistling and calling for the passes.
I didn't like hockey when my son played. The politics and posturing, jostling for a position on a team. Not my thing. When my son came to be one of the most valuable members of his last few teams, I actually loved to watch him play. There is something to be said for a kid who would stand in front of a couple of metal posts, in the icy cold, and get excited about a little black piece of frozen rubber, sailing at him at 90 km an hour. We all know Goalies are a special breed.
The event I photographed was all about some regular guys having a great time, playing the game with the once best and brightest of our national pastime. The pros came out to lend their support and that they did. It's amazing how these guys, some of them many years since they played pro, still have that special star that surrounds a pro athlete. They are polite and friendly when approached by the fans. They are still willing to sign autographs when asked. They pass the puck more than our regular guys.
Being in the rink again, brought back memories of all my son's great games, won or lost, the shutouts, the 'nail biters', and the 'edge of your seaters', Thinking back on it, it was the best thing I ever did for that boy. His Dad worked overseas, the kids saw him only a few times in 13 years. My son was lucky enough to be coached by some great men. Other Dad's volunteer their time, young coaches from hockey camps, and his regular coaches from when he started getting serious about playing goal. These men were his role models, his examples of adulthood. I firmly believe, if it were not for these men, my son would have been into other recreational habits, and possibly would not be with us now.
When I head to the hockey rink to photograph these titans of our time, I always keep in mind how this game probably saved my son's life and made him a better human being. So to all my son's coaches, teammates, and hockey parents, Thank You for helping me raise my kid to be a good Canadian.
and...Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
Last Friday (26th) I spent my entire day in a hockey rink photographing hockey. For those of you that know me, my son was not playing. It was an event to raise money for homelessness in Calgary. I love watching the spray of the ice as the players hit the brakes, the feeling of the cold on my cheeks, the slap of a frozen puck hitting the surface, and the players whistling and calling for the passes.
I didn't like hockey when my son played. The politics and posturing, jostling for a position on a team. Not my thing. When my son came to be one of the most valuable members of his last few teams, I actually loved to watch him play. There is something to be said for a kid who would stand in front of a couple of metal posts, in the icy cold, and get excited about a little black piece of frozen rubber, sailing at him at 90 km an hour. We all know Goalies are a special breed.
The event I photographed was all about some regular guys having a great time, playing the game with the once best and brightest of our national pastime. The pros came out to lend their support and that they did. It's amazing how these guys, some of them many years since they played pro, still have that special star that surrounds a pro athlete. They are polite and friendly when approached by the fans. They are still willing to sign autographs when asked. They pass the puck more than our regular guys.
Being in the rink again, brought back memories of all my son's great games, won or lost, the shutouts, the 'nail biters', and the 'edge of your seaters', Thinking back on it, it was the best thing I ever did for that boy. His Dad worked overseas, the kids saw him only a few times in 13 years. My son was lucky enough to be coached by some great men. Other Dad's volunteer their time, young coaches from hockey camps, and his regular coaches from when he started getting serious about playing goal. These men were his role models, his examples of adulthood. I firmly believe, if it were not for these men, my son would have been into other recreational habits, and possibly would not be with us now.
When I head to the hockey rink to photograph these titans of our time, I always keep in mind how this game probably saved my son's life and made him a better human being. So to all my son's coaches, teammates, and hockey parents, Thank You for helping me raise my kid to be a good Canadian.
and...Don't forget to check your Compass!
Cole
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